emotionally collapsed
i was so upset and anxious just now...
i even felt desperate... i felt bad.. .i felt sad... i felt regreted... i felt...
in a word, COMPLEX....
READSONS:
let me recall... have i even been in such siuation like what it happend today??? i think similar experience happened to me... but i cant remember how serious it was and how bad i felt... anyway, i believe the results of those incidents were not so bad... otherwise, i would remeber today and easily recall... maybe, i am so overwhelmed that i could not recall anything...
anyway, it is bad!!!
My CTW position paper group missed the subimission deadline!!!!
Everything went well before today... we dicussed... we had somewhat fun in preparing it... but it did not help me to get to know a good friend... k... that is not really what i was trying to do... but by right, should get to know someone i dont know... yah... for that i did... got to know Kevin...
we struggled to come out with a topic and a thesis... then, went through mass research and filtering... finally we got on the track to write out the outline of our postition paper... everything seemed so difficult but we pulled it through by working hard together... although there were debates here and there, which i believe is actually a good thing, we were able to draft out the first work...
then we presented to the class the 1st two paragraphs and sort of undergoing a trial of oral defence... and i think we answered quite well coz a lot of research has been done... we are well prepared in terms of background knowledge... then... we happily went for the conferencing with our nice tutor mdm Daljit... she pointed out our mistakes and inappropriateness and even possible solutions to that... we had some organisation issues such that the ideas were not properly portrayed... somehow the meaning was there but not clearly brought out...
then we started crazy make-over on the 1st draft to the final one that i am holding now.... we met a few times and we exhausted all our ideas before we dismissed... i felt so horrible everything we met up for writing... but each time after the meeting, i felt happier and a bit more released...
finally we came to the critical point that we were going to submit it to our tutor... nonc of us has expected such thing could happen... we finalised everything by thurday night... and was ready to hand in today... everything was well prepared... and we somehow felt more relieved after finishing the final draft... printing of coz is the last step before submission... after printing out, i went to classroom... this morning around 0930.... i did not expect that there was nobody in the classroom... we thought our tutor was going to have the last conferencing with some of our classmates.. but nobody was there at that time... i waited and SMSed my tutor... i also called her.. but there was no SMS reply and i could not reach her at all... her phone was off all that while...
i was panic... i did not know what to do... [ at any point of time when i am experience a bad situation, i always think of the worst case that could happen...] then, i was like an ant on the hot pan... could not stay still and concentrate on other things... it lasted from the minute i started panicing till now... i felt so sad at the time i was having dinner... i almost collapsed.... luckily, i have my lovely nice caring block 4 buddies to soothe me and ask me about it... more surprising at that time is that i finally got through and talked to our tutor on the phone... wow... finally the stone at my throat was then dropped back down to where it came...
yah... things are like this... overreacting sometimes is bad... but sometimes is also good...
suppose that i did not contact my tutor so anxiously... if i were just wait for the last minute... if i were just so care-free.... i would not know what consequences could come after that.... somehow i have some fear after the event... though the event has not come to the end yet...
hopefully we can pass our paper on monday eariler at NIE... we dont want any funny incident to happen again...
"break the legs"...
Wish all the best that my friends are sitting for statics and mechanics of materials quiz 2 tml...
have to end with a less panicky tense feeling...
get back soon
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~@££ tH3 !3esT~
posted by DaViD @ 4/01/2005 10:54:00 pm
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