want to say something

Dear Blog,

I am back... after i got to use MSN Space... it seems that i seldom to come back to post...

i am really sorry.... although MSN space looks nice... but you are always my best... :p
i have been "wu shi mang"... exams are coming... but my heart does not allow me to calm down to focus on the study... it is being hung somewhere... does not want to go back to its original position....

i feel tired... i feel that there is something lack in my life... as i posted before... i think romatic love is the thing that is missing in my life.... after i watched " palace " and " my girl"....
they sacrificed a lot simply for LOVE... how romantic it is.... thought it is not practical... but it is just so admiring.... make people feel for them....

my feel chest pain... it is not physically painful... but just as what i described that i cannot breathe... feel hard to breathe.... i wanna sleep because then i dont have to worry about it any more... i dont know whether i am sick or not.... i feel like going out for a running.... to really sweat out and get the feelings out... i wanna shout... but i hardly find a place to shout out loud... i am afraid it would be disturbing....

yup... then i started thinking of you... coz i miss you... you have accompanied my for more than one year... close to one and half years.... i share good time with you and also my bad mood... you are always there listening... though i know that i would not be able to get an answer or comfort from you... but it does help... since you are willing to lend your ears to me to listen to all the crap... i am expecting a holiday... i want get out of singapore... i want to go and travel... i want to meet the right person... a lot of plans to contruct and to carry them out... it is a very tough period for me again.... april... i was going down to the bottom and now trying to climb up and get it over....

it is tough... just like Yulin... she was tring so hard to keep her promise to Grandpa.... she did it... though her love to Gongcan is so deep... she had to gave up... pretending to be strong... it evoked my thoughts... i dont know why i could relate... and what i could relate to... but i did feel for them.... i am a person made up of flesh... i've got emotions... feelings... demands and downs.... Interpersonal relations are just so important.... human stay in groups... one would not be able to survive.... it is true... but what i am thinking and want to say is that... emotionally... it is more important to have attachment.... or the person would not be happy.... at least to me.... i think i was too exhausted... trying so hard to catch up and dont want to be left behind... however, i realise.... the mature level is so different among the people....

i .... i dont know... i am not clear about some things... i just wanna talk... maybe... i am just at the age to differentiate all the goods and bads.... what is what i am really interested in and devote the rest of my life into it....

is bio-engineering is really my best choice? apparently... it is still a yes.... i dont know what would the answer be in the next moment i reconsider and re-examine it... i may see it differently... but i will never regret.... i need to have a hard time in academia so that i can become relatively mature in my acamedia...

seriously... my blog... i dont really know what i am trying to say.... but i follow my heart.. my guts.... coz i trust them... i believe they would lead to the stage where i will be clear... very clear....

am i really at the 2nd stage now??? ' know that i dont know'????
i guess... i do... i know that i still don know a lot of things... too many... too many.....

when will i figure it out????

sigh....

anyway.... A za... fighting.... David, Kwen cha na yo!... jal jinnaseyo!!!

Kulae, annyonghi gasipsiyo!
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~@££ tH3 !3esT~

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